Today was going to be the day that I posted a new belly picture, but since my mom is coming for a visit next week, I am just going to make her wait to see the real thing. The only baby news I have since the last post is that I do not have gestational diabetes, which is good, we can all sleep at night. I am pretty excited about my mom coming for a visit, I have been surprisingly homesick for the last couple of weeks, so it is great timing. I feel torn perfectly in half between my desire to live where I am and have my kids grow up with Rachel's kids and to teach them to love the outdoors the way that Matt and I do, and to live close to family where my kids can be around grandparents and cousins and experience what it is like to grow up in the country with horses and stuff. Everything in life has goods and bads, and it seems like I am constantly trying to negotiate in my own brain which outweighs the other. In this instance I know that eventually God will show us where to go, and what to do, but I can tell you He is taking His good sweet time with the process.
And then sometimes, like now, I think there are no good or bad decisions, just different directions that you can go...opposite, but essentially equal paths. Does God have a will in these things? Or does he just think that you can pick either one as long as you are doing it all to serve Him? Everyone seems to have an opinion, but does God really care whether we live in Nevada, or Texas, or Mexico? I know He cares about us, and our walk with Him, and our influence on those in the sphere of our life, but does He care where that sphere is? And then there is Camille (Hope, thanks Stefanie), what is best for her? How do Matt and I stop making selfish decisions, when that is all we have done in the past? Is what is good for us, good for her? How do we know these things????